What
is Love? How do you know if you are truly "in" or "out"
of love? Is love something tangible, or is it all together imagined?
Can you love some "thing" or is it exclusive for people? Is
there a universal definition that fits all situations and
circumstances? Webster's says that love as a verb means: to hold dear
or cherish. As a noun, there are so many definitions ranging from
common interests to strong affection and kinsman-ship. I wonder
though.
Love
is such an extraordinary thing that it amazes me that one would even
attempt to put a definition to it. It is so uniquely different from
person to person. But I do know one thing for sure. I am in love.
Whatever that means.
So
let's start from the beginning. When we are young, we have
preconceived notions of what it means to love someone. And then it
happens, that first look, the first electric current runs through
your body, first kiss, and you are sunk. You swear that this is love,
because it is stronger than any other you have ever felt before,
somehow different. But then it dies. And the first death of love, the
first love, is the most violent. It rips your heart out, tears it in
to little pieces and spits it back in your face. Was that love? If so
I don't want to ever have to go through that again! And a piece of
you dies along with it. A little bit of innocence goes up in flames,
and for the first time you taste the bitterness of a love lost. And
you move on. And you grow up. And you start to mature and see life
for what it really is; that veil has been thrown aside, or at the
least it is now transparent. Love sucks.
As
you grow and the years pass, you begin to realize that it was really
a blessing in disguise, albeit a painful one. Without it, you would
have continued to believe and see the world through rose colored
lenses. Now you see reality. And you question: Was it love? But far
more often you will find that the answer is no. No, not love. It was
passion. And passion can be a fierce and violent force, more than any
other that exists. But it seems to always die with the same intensity
that it was born. So then is that it? If it was passion, what is
love?
Passion
is the beginning you see... Without passion, there would be no
attraction, and without attraction, a relationship of intimate form
would never be established. But passion alone will never survive, and
since passion almost always seems to have the intensity of fire, we
have to be aware that fires always die out. And look at the mess they
leave behind.
But
Love comes from passion. Passion is the bud on a tree, a flower,
beautiful in it's season, and vibrant. But eventually it withers and
dies. And it leaves behind a seed. Now if that seed gets covered up
by the ashes, it will not grow, as happens with most first loves. But
if it finds a good ground beneath it, it can take root and grow. And
when it grows it starts slow, beneath the surface, and that's why it
is seemingly unnoticed, but it will be strong. And then it sprouts,
but at this point who knows what it could be. It may be a weed that
needs to be pulled, but only because it has not yet taken form. The
years pass and steadily it increases. Of course there will always be
times of drought that may hold it back, but only for a season. Love
is persistent. Love is strong. Love is grounded. Love is slow. And
even, Love most of the time can be boring, mundane, colorless, and
sometimes unsightly. It is a tree after-all. But that tree, when
taken care of, watered and painfully pruned, will continue to grow
and grown until it is a mighty tree, big and strong, unshaken with a
strong and deep foundation.
That's
what love is. It is selfless, as a tree does not bear fruit for it's
own benefit, but for the one whom consumes it. Love is a commitment,
not a feeling. Feelings fall under the passion category. And though
passion is an essential part of love, it is not the main component.
Being "in love" is temporary because as soon as the lover
turns his back, you are suddenly "out of love" with the
same person to whom who whispered promises of forever. A real lover,
a true lover seeks only the benefit and never the burden of the
loved. no matter the price. True love is something cultivated only by
time and tested by patience.
I
love and am loved. Not because I am a great human being, but because
God is great.
I
Corinthians 13:4-13 (This is how we are loved)
Love
is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable it
resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the
truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will
pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will
pass away. For we know in part and we prophecy in part, but when the
perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child I spoke
like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I
became a man I put away childish ways. for now we see in a mirror
dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I will know
full, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love
abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Romans
5:5 (This is why we love)
And
hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured
into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
