What?! A WHITE Christmas?!

Yay!  I finished all my Christmas gifts!  I didn't know if I was going to make it or not!  But I pushed through, and got it done.  I have to say, I am very proud of myself!  I think my husband was a bit surprised because I am a big goal-setter and list-maker and have these grand ideas, but I don't have much follow-through.  I think I set the bar so high for myself that I get burned out real quick when I realize I can't live up to my own expectations!  Thank God He is a lot more merciful on us than I am on myself, otherwise we would all be in trouble... He is constantly teaching me and reminding me to r e l a x.....  :)

Anywho, we had loads of fun with the family.  I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked to get of all the gifts I made, but I did remember to get a few before everyone headed home!

Jay-Jay loves Hello Kitty!!

It's the Little Things...

Oh me, oh my... I tell you what... I am sitting here at the computer, trying to get some work done.  But every time I look down, I see this beautiful little face.  She is very distracting.  I keep finding myself staring at her; studying every facet of this sweet, perfect face.  How fleeting these moments are!!  How quickly they get away from us, and before we know it, we are looking at a full grown human being.

Jubee

My Heart Soars Anyway

It's really been awhile since I've posted anything on here, been a little (read: very) busy... So many different things that have been going on in my life recently and it's had me on an emotional and mental roller coaster!  But thankfully my God is unwavering and patient with me, even when I'm on a downward spiral.  I would be so lost without Him to steady my heart.  He is constantly proving His love to me and for me, over and over, and He never ceases to amaze me with the depths of his mercy and knowledge and love.  Haha...  I never see it coming and it always catches me off guard and knocks me off my feet.  But I guess that's the way God is with me.  LOL 'Cause He knows me so well and knows that if I expected it, I would try to work something up... And most times I am so busy trying to "work something up" for whatever situation I happen to find myself in at the moment, that I forget to relax.

I'm definitely not a roll-with-the-punches or fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl!  I'm a thinker, a let's-think-this-through-beginning-to-end, a look-at-the-pros-and-cons, a lets-imagine-possible-outcomes, and THEN make a decision kind of girl... HAHA... That is very tiresome... And most times results in a non-decision anyway, or a started project that never gets finished.  My dad always said that a wrong decision is better than no decision at all.  I believe that in theory, but seldom practice it because, well,  I think too much.

Anyway, God is bigger than my wandering thoughts, and for that I am very thankful.  I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately, since his 5 year anniversary since his death is coming up in a few days on May 9th.  I've tried to remember things that he told me over the years, advice that stands time and spans different situations.  And sometimes I try to imagine what kind of advice he would give me for a particular situation, but even after knowing him my whole life, I still could never predict what he would say to me or how he would react and every time it would be something unexpected.  So this is just a nostalgic, futile effort.

I do miss my dad immensely and I miss that he didn't get to see me grow up.  I was 20 when he died on a motorcycle.  But my heart soars, because one thing he taught all of us is that God is the only one who can raise a phoenix from the ashes... over and over... My heart soars because I am loved, I have love, I was taught love, I love, and I was loved.  My heart soars because I refuse to stay on the ground watching everyone else fly above.  My heart soars because life is a gift.  My heart soars because my actions do not define me.  My heart soars because it is it's nature.  My heart soars because God gave me wings.

And I am thankful.

A Smile Lights up the World

Being a mother is one of the greatest joys I have ever known. Every moment is an adventure, especially at my son's age, because he is exploring and learning new things all the time, even when I don't think he is paying attention.

My relationship with him is very physical; we are constantly running and chasing, doing flips, tickles, marching around the house, playing hide-and-go-seek, and laughing until we cry! I love it and wouldn't have it any other way! I thank God that I am young and have the energy to play with him like that. His sweet and innocent smile just lights up my whole world. He is truly a blessing from God, fashioned to give me utter delight!

When I was pregnant with Giancarlo, actually even before I knew I was, it was October 27th, my birthday, and Carlos gave me one white rose. Now, instead of being grateful for how romantic that was, I was mad that after everything, a single white rose was the best he could do. I was feeling sorry for myself and throwing a pity-party as I pulled out of the driveway to head to my mom's house. For those of you who don't believe God speaks, let me just reassure you, he does. Because in that moment, in spite of my irrational reaction to a perfectly beautiful and acceptable gift, God told me, "I'm going to give you a better gift." Now at that time, I didn't know what that meant except Carlos' rose wasn't the last word on my day. So I waited, all day, for something better than a rose. But nothing happened. That night when I laid down, I was mad; mad at Carlos and mad at God. But I wasn't patient enough because exactly one week later I discovered I was pregnant. And how badly I had wanted a baby! Then I knew he was God's gift to me, to us. It wasn't a birthday gift, it was the gift of new life.

Later on in the pregnancy, I was probably about 8 months along, I dropped Carlos off at work and on my way home God gave me a vision of a little boy, probably about 2 years old, running away from me to the other side of the room, curls bouncing. He stopped and turned around to look at me with a wide grin and giggled. The laugh echoed and the smile lit up the shadows. I started to cry just imagining the great gift God had given me.

To this day, remembering that is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Only, then I didn't realize how true that vision was until now. Giancarlo is 1 year and 7 months old, and I have, countless times, seen him run from me then turn around to make sure I am still chasing him, squeal in delight when he sees me, then keep right on going until I catch him. And his smile always pulls one straight out of me. Always.

By the way, his name means "God's gracious gift." I didn't find out until he was several weeks old because we changed it from Joseph to Giancarlo in the delivery room after he was born. And that, my friends, is a true story! Be blessed!